Idiocy via gchat: Nichele is Disgusting

If You Had the Following SWEET Snacks...

...sitting on your desk, which one (or combination) would you choose?

1) MINI Oreos
2) Ritz Bits w/Cheese
3) Ritz Bits w/Peanut Butter
4) Nutter Butter Bites
5) Cheetos
6) Fritos
7) Barbeque Lays


It truly is a conundrum.

Sweet Stuff on Hollywood Boulevard circa 2:30 AM on Saturday Night

[1]
Random guy walking in opposite direction: [to N, T & M] WOW! You guys have a nice mix.
M: Hey, thanks--do you know where Opera is?
RGWIOD: [tries to start chatting]
N: Come on, Mary--you can't talk to strangers.

**THIRTY SECONDS LATER**: Across the street...

RGWIOD is dancing like a bellydancer/matador to a homeless saxophone player.


[2]
Dirty dogs. Bacon-wrapped hot dogs. Only in Los Angeles.


[3]
Random guy on Hollywood Blvd: Hey girl, I'm dark skinned, I have no babies, I just got out the navy, I got money....I'll pay your mortgage.
T: [cracks up]
RGOHB: WHAT! I'll pay!

[4]
We walk by a blond with huge fake EEE tittays. As we walk by, she gets motorboated by her companion.

[5]
The L. Ron Hubbard Life Exhibition. Enough said.

[6]
Victor: Hi my name is Victor. You can call me Victor Fabulous.
Clark: Why are you fabulous?
Victor: BECAUSE. I'm RICH.

Thank You Jayne

Hooray for Isaac!

Our friend Isaac directed the new music video for 3oh!3, a great band out of colorado.

Nichele is a Giant Sandy Vagina

For leaving her dog to wee wee all over my apartment.

Lonely

Dear Nichele,

Please come home.

Thank you,
Tessa and Francis

My We Are Pretty

mush mush mush

This Bacon Has Bulk

The WOW Bacon Cooker promises you can make freshly broiled bacon ANYTIME YOU WANT! Happy Birthday Nichele!

www.wowbacon.com

Of course I trust you, Joe Six Pack, far more than I trust a Harvard Law School education. Call me elitist. I'll call you stupid.

Too good to be true: Hipster sighting on the Colbert Report

The scene: Colbert is making fun of the town hall debate that occurred tonight between John McCain (hiss) and Barack Obama (yay!).

Transcript:

[guy in "'vote' mccain" t-shirt stands up]

GIVMT: Hey Stephen....I'm a hipster, and I can't remember whether I bought this shirt ironically, because I actually hate McCain? Or if I in fact support John McCain? Or if maybe this is a band that I'm into?


Video

Village Idiots: Here Comes Disaster Pt. 2

I'm moving today. Finally joining the ranks of real adults and leaving the mom's house. I'm a bit torn: it will definitely suck to be responsible for rent and groceries but it will be far less awkward to bring dudes home. What's disastrous about this move you ask? Well, let me tell you. For the first time since our senior and junior years of college (respectively) Nichele and I will be living in close enough proxmity to simply yell at each other instead of using the myriad forms of communication our generation is such big fans of. As soon as R&D is done with the can phone, we'll be sure to post about how it worked. Well, I'm off to Koreatown. Wish me luck.

Truth via gchat: We are bad people

Tessa: steal shit

Nichele: hahahahaaha. i think we are immoral people. or maybe amoral. because i was thinking the same thing

Tessa: i think you mean immortal

Nichele's Fridge Alert: 10/01/08

Current Fridge-Alert status: HIGH

Contents:
Maple syrup (mom bought for me)
Ralph's brand salad dressing
1 jar alfredo sauce (2/3-empty)
Raspberry jam
1 loaf whole wheat bread
1 loaf Mom's banana bread

Truth via gmail: 5th Avenue Hookers

bear with me on this one, I promise all the pieces come together in the end....

Lyrics to the song The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel:
"Now I'm laying out my winter clothes and looking for a job
But I get no offers; just a come-on from the whores on 7th Avenue..."

(for all you musical idiots)

***

Chat with my friend Chris, 11/09/07:

1:23 PM Chris: asking only workman's wages i come looking for a job, but i get no offers...

1:25 PM me: are you calling me a whore?

1:26 PM Chris: definitely not a seventh avenue whore. maybe fifth

1:29 PM me: that is a small comfort

***

Email from my friend Chris, 10/01/08:

to: Nichele
from: Chris
date: Wed., October 1, 2008 at 3:54 PM
subject: Maureen Dowd

Check out Maureen Dowd today. There ARE whores on 5th Avenue and they are "stunning".

***

Maureen Dowd's Op Ed on Paul Newman


The quote in reference:
"He recalled how utterly flummoxed he was the time a stunning call girl approached him on Fifth Avenue and offered to dispense with her fee."

***

My question to the blogosphere:

Am I offended or flattered?

Truth Via gchat: Sarah Palin what's up?

Hipster Safari: My School Had a Football Team

http://stuffhipstersdontlike.wordpress.com/my-hipster-dilemma/

This girl is amazing. I'm a little pissed she got to doing this before we did but living in williamsburg probably gives her an upperhand. But she does sum up how we feel so succintly "I still don’t know if I’m a hipster or not, and I don’t think I ever will. By vehemently denying my hipsterdom, I automatically become one, while if I accept… well, I don’t know what that makes me. Nobody wants to be a hipster."

Maybe she'll let us contribute our National Geographic Hipster Safaris. Well, maybe once we've stopped being lazy fucks and actually go on the National Geographic Hipster Safari. Though, onetime, Nichele met a hipster at the dog park. He told her living in koreatown was "super authentic". ha.

Village Idiots: HERE COMES DISASTER

Nichele starts working in my office today. And we thought it was bad in there before. Stay tuned for reports from the field. If we can safely get a camera crew in close enough, photographic evidence of the destruction bound to happen will soon be shared.